A good conversation is like a mini skirt ….

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Radio host and personality Celeste Headlee thinks that most of the discord and disagreement in conversation comes down to a simple truth: we are more interested in talking than listening. Her TedTalk* is worth a listen if you have the time.

When I was training as a coach, one of the core skills I was taught to master was ‘active listening’ -  Hi-5 Celeste! We all know how good it feels when someone is truly listening to us and being able to enable and empower us accordingly.

Research (Lieberman and Eisenberger 2009) has shown that being listened to activates a ‘reward state’ within us, which means we can think more clearly, are more willing and able to collaborate, and are more open to new ideas and change. Transpose that into a workplace and think how company productivity could rise if every leader was consistently listening to their team members and creating a positive, enabling and supportive environment.

So why is it so difficult for leaders and organisations to get it right particularly when it comes to change? I see time and time again in employee survey and Culture Value Assessment (CVA) results, the colleague-ask is for more clarity, to be listened to and be more involved.

The communication and engagement side of change is often seen as ‘fluffy’. Some leaders feel they haven’t got the time as they are trying to do their day job and deliver change at the same time. Others feel that involving colleagues not only takes the time they can ill-afford, but it can backfire as expectations can be raised which can lead to disappointment later on down the line. It can be a fine line when to communicate – too soon, the message may have to be retracted; too late, there’s a void which gets filled with misconstrued perceptions and ideas.

Leaders should understand that as human beings our brains are in constant search for information and the sooner we get it the better, even if the news is bad. If we don’t get this information, we start to fill the gaps ourselves, whether it’s at the water cooler or at the coffee machine.

I believe it’s much better to regularly communicate to manage the message and to limit the uncertainty, particularly for internal audiences. The human brain craves certainty in an uncertain world and I’ve found that setting up communication principles around a big change programme (such as guaranteeing a weekly update), is well received even if not every weekly piece of comms gives new information. We took this approach at the Co-op Bank whilst the Bank was up for sale and recapitalisation and the colleague feedback was positive.

Making sure the leaders are equipped with core messages, a list of the potential questions and answers that could be asked, as well as a clear comms schedule are all important aspects. Landing these messages across the whole company in the right way and in a timely fashion alleviates discontent and misunderstandings.

Another thing to be mindful of is cognitive dissonance. As Hilary Scarlett states in her useful Neuroscience for Organisational Change book ‘Our brains constantly compare incoming information with predicted information. If incoming information fits, then all is OK and our brains pay little attention. But if incoming information doesn’t fit with our expectations, our attention is diverted until we have resolved the issue…….We hate to be wrong as human beings and this can lead to a threat state. The brain therefore tries to do one of the following:

·        Remove one of the ideas/disbelieve it.

·        Allow one idea to carry more weight than another.

·        Add or create a new idea or ideas to resolve the conflict.

Without a doubt, communicating through change is challenging and there’s no science to it, just best practice and a better understanding of how we operate as human beings from the world of neuroscience. Here’s some things you may like to bear in mind for as you tackle your next big change programme:

  • Provide certainty around the communication process.

  • Help your team members to focus on what’s in their control and as a leader be visible and authentic.

  • Be careful with your positioning, as change suggests that what colleagues have been doing is wrong. Remember to bring positives and recognition from the past as part of your message.

  • Take the time to consider how best to land the message with colleagues, tailor the content appropriately and be prepared to answer any questions with the right response.

  • Be as transparent as you can be and enable colleagues to ask questions and provide them with answers.

  • Actively listen to colleagues and where you can implement what they have asked for and if you aren’t able to, explain why.

  • Feedback colleague core themes and sentiment to senior management, the People or Internal Comms’ teams.

  • Be aware of cognitive dissonance – repeat messages that may have been missed.

  • Keep your message and conversations concise, relevant and compelling and don’t forget  …

“A good conversation is like a mini skirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.” 

Celeste Headlee’s sister.

 

*Celeste Headlee’s TedTalk – 10 Ways To Have a Better Conversation.